Don’t Take No For An Answer. Don’t Ever Give Up.
Not everyone agrees on the point of not taking ‘no’ for an answer. Some people believe that it is a lack of respect, that people not taking ‘no’ for an answer do not reserve a ‘yes’. To the contrary - some people see not taking ‘no’ for an answer as a sign of courage, persistence and perseverance. A winning attitude.
A good example of how this approach can be differently interpreted are job interviews. Hiring managers sometimes like to ask their interviewees how do they feel about taking ‘no’ for an answer. You would think that a question like this is meant to focus on identifying candidates who can respect authority. Yes, but not entirely. The underlying reason for this question is often an ability to identify those who can respectfully acknowledge ‘no’, but at the same time do not stop at it. Constructive challenge status quo attitude is what successful person needs to represent and that’s what companies look for.
Why is that when we hear ‘no’ - we initially get discouraged from taking any further steps? Well, it’s natural. As children, growing up, we were taught that when we hear ‘no’, we need to stop. It’s either not good, not safe for us or for someone around us. As children though, we also liked to question things - asking the ‘why’ behind the answer ‘no’. We just wanted to understand why cannot we do it? Now, ask yourself - do you still do that? When someone tells you ‘no’ - do you just accept it and move forward or do you try to understand why the answer is ‘no’ and what can you do to change it?
Those of us who like to challenge status quo, challenge others, ourselves, not agreeing on a simple ‘no’ may have similar personalities. It does not mean that there is only a certain type of character that represents the perseverance. It’s the experience that is the key here. The journey we are on is important, but the journey we have gone through already has shaped us and determined how do we respond to a refusal. This is how those of us who do not take ‘no’ for an answer differ from those who do. The experience.
Take a look back and think if your approach to a ‘no’ answer has changed overtime. Mine has, indeed. What helped me changed my perspective was my experiences. I realized that when I accepted ‘a no’, it was because I took it literally. I did not think that maybe I have not gotten a ‘yes’ because I was not speaking with the right person, that my proposal was just not good enough - yet, etc. As I was growing throughout, all my experiences have proven that when I did not give up - I got it. I got a ‘yes’.
People were my inspiration too. Many of friends, colleagues that I met throughout my life have grown the most through challenging themselves, others around them, getting themselves out of their comfort zones. They just never gave up, no matter what. This is what not taking ‘no’ for an answer means. Just not giving up.
Let’s be clear though - not giving up doesn’t mean being unreasonably stubborn about one particular idea, solution to the problem, one and only opinion or perspective. It means understanding that ‘no’ does not have to mean a refusal, it can mean a challenge or even more importantly, a feedback. It’s important to recognize that sometimes we need the answer ‘no’, because we deserve it at the time and we would not develop if not this experience. The ‘no’ forces us to think through what we want to achieve, how and why we want to do it so that we can then improve it, approach the prospect again and then most likely, we will get a ‘yes’! I agree, sometimes it is a hard to receive a ‘no’ but then again - one door closes, but another opens.
I like to think that the only way out is a way through. It’s the mindset. That’s where everything starts and where everything ends - which means it starts and ends on you Everyone else is a part of your journey, so don’t let them stop you. Let them help you, challenge you, give you a ‘no’ when you are not ready for a ‘yes’, because if your mindset will drive you further, you will keep going, until you achieve what you have been working towards. It may not be in the same shape of form as you initially imagined, but it might be even better and with time you will realize this, look back and be thankful to yourself that you did not give up. You will be thankful for someone telling you ‘no’, because you will only do better from then on.
You will get where you want to be. You just need to be ready and it does not always come when you think it should. You just cannot give up.
